Excuses . . . Excuses . . .

Park City Marathon. No PR. 4 hours, 5 minutes.

Excuses:
1. Lots of hills.
2. Lots of wind.
3. I was tired.
4. I was "hemorrhaging". (I had to look that one up for the spelling!)
5. About half the marathon was on gravel. Well, maybe 1/4 . . . or an 1/8.
6. I knew the medal at the end was just going to be a suncatcher. I wasn't motivated to go get it.
7. I wasn't happy to get another blue shirt. I really wanted the shirt to be pink!
8. The 4 GUs in my shorts were chafing me.
9. My 5 hour energy shot malfunctioned.
10. I had a tampon in my sports bra.
11. etc . . . etc . . . etc . . .

Eighty-seven people ran it faster than me. I'm sure they don't have any excuses. Woe is me!


Luckily, Jeff and Marisa were there to run the marathon with me. They are the best!

Aaron and the kids showed up at the finish line looking like they'd had a great night sleep. The finish line was right outside our hotel room, so they only had to wake up 5 minutes before the big finale. Good for them! :) I was in no way resentful!!

3 generations came to cheer me on! Cali, Nyah, Grandma Sue, and Grandma LaRue (all the way from Idaho!)

Marisa and I both got new Brooks for the race!

Marisa is an AMAZING runner. She rocked the marathon. Nothing can stop this girl!

My favorite thing about the Park City Marathon -- the cold washcloth they let you borrow at the end of the race to wipe off with.

I have NEVER been happier to see a finish line in my life!

I started bawling when I got to give my kids high fives as I rounded the last bend. They truly make my life worthwhile!

Last 13 Miler before Park City Marathon

Today's run can be summed up in 2 words --

it sucked! (I know. I know. Vacuums suck. Runs don't.)

The Park City Marathon is coming up next weekend and I am not ready. My legs are fatigued, I am very sleepy, and I am going to start my period the day before the marathon. (I know. I know. Too much information.)

I have to at least finish the marathon in order to get into the St. George Marathon in October. No matter what I have to finish. Whether it is. . . crawling, limping, heaving . . . I just have to finish. Why do I care about getting into St. George? At this point, I don't know if I do. But I've come this far in The Grand Slam. I've gotta finish it.

Do I care about my time at The Park City Marathon? No. (I'm a liar!)

How "Normal Women" are SUPPOSED to Go About Finding a Sports Bra!

I read an article this morning in a running magazine about how to go about buying a sports bra. Here are direct quotes from the article, and the thoughts I had while reading it:

Article: "Try on a sports bra as you would running shoes."

Vanessa: Are you kidding me?! Why would I put a bra on my feet?

Article: "Most specialty running stores have a treadmill or track set up for trying out their running shoes." (this was implying that you could try out your shoes and your bra on the treadmill at the store!)

Vanessa: Where do I find a running store like that? Not in Utah County! And besides, even if the store did have a treadmill for trying on shoes, wouldn't the salesperson think it was extremely odd if I asked to try on a sports bra and then hopped on the treadmill to check out my bounce?

Article: "If the store doesn't have a track or treadmill, run in place in the dressing room." (again, to check out your bounce!)

Vanessa: Wouldn't people wonder why there was heavy breathing coming from my dressing room?

Article: "Move in ways that give your breasts every opportunity to move up and down, in and out, and in a figure eight, which is similar to the movement they actually make while you run."

Vanessa: No matter how many opportunities I give my breasts to move . . . they don't. I thought a figure eight was for ice skating!

Article: "For high-impact sports such as running, a bra featuring both compression and encapsulation is ideal. Compression bras minimize movement by pressing flat against your chest. Encapsulating sports bras, add shape and structure and keep each breast separated."

Vanessa: I'm sorry, but I just don't understand any of this. I certainly don't need COMPRESSION and no sports bra I've ever found has added any shape or structure to my body!

Article: "You should own several sports bras and should never wear the same one two days in a row."

Vanessa: Really?! You mean I can't just keep rewearing the same one everyday for 3 YEARS in a row? (No wonder I've had an odor problem.)

Article: "Finding the right sports bra is a time-consuming process, but if you start your search equipped with this article's advice, you'll be well on your way to bra nirvana. Not only will you feel more comfortable during your workouts, but you'll look fabulous, too."

Vanessa's Thoughts: Please!! This is my advice for finding a sports bra. Walk into your local WalMart and buy the first sports bra you see. Nobody sees it. All a sports bra has ever done for me is squash whatever I've got on top completely flat. Besides, I think the furthest thing from anyone's mind that passes me on a run is . . . "Ooh, look at that girl in her well-fitting sports bra. Doesn't her Size AA chest look absolutely fabulous today. And check out that Figure 8 she's doing up there on top. She is so talented!"

Watch out Boston . . . The Runner's Runs is Coming to Town

What happens when you combine the Boston Marathon and The Runner's Runs?

You'll find out in about 48 hours.

it may not be pretty folks . . .

Thoughts After the Run

As I had predicted, I could not keep up with the running group this morning. Thinking that I had a stomach ailment, one of my running buddies asked me a very thought provoking question after my slow run. "What's wrong with you, Vanessa?"

My answer to this question was, "Nothing!" but on my way home, I started to delve into other possible ways I could have answered her question.

"Hmm . . . What's wrong with me? Well, I have a deformity called Pectus excavatum, I have really ugly feet, my arms are as hairy as a Sasquatch, my eyebrows also fit into the Sasquatch category, my body shape is all wrong for clothes worn by modern man, my bowels are a disaster, I laugh like a clown from a mental institution, I am an ugly crier, I don't wash my hair on a regular basis, I always overeat and regret it later, I apologize too often, I have a phobia of people hearing me use the restroom so I often turn on the hair dryer or the shower while I am sitting on the potty, I don't know how to say, "No!", meat with bones grosses me out, the smell of fish makes me gag, and finally, "I don't know how to pronounce words like, "Gag, fag, and tag" correctly, and last but not least, I cannot keep up with other runners, no matter how hard I try!"

As you can see, running really helps me out with my self-esteem!

Thoughts Before the Run

I'm a bit nervous about my run today.

Problem #1Yesterday I went on a feeding frenzy. Einstein bagel sandwich, Arby's Roast Beef with curly fries, more bagels with cream cheese, chocolate cake . . . I'm either 1) about to start my period, 2) pregnant, or 3) a compulsive eater. I'm almost 100% positive it is number 3! There is no way all that food is going to sit well throughout the 16 miles today.
Solution:Pray for some miracle porta-potties.

Problem #2The weather forecast is a bit foreboding. 99% chance of precipitation and windy!
Solution: Wear 2 pairs of gloves, keep my head down, and pretend to be tough.

Problem #3My butt hurts. My hamstrings hurt. My ankles hurt. I think I'm going to need all those body parts for the run, and they aren't working.
Solution: 2 Tylenol.

Problem #4I can't run as fast as any of the people I am running with today. I will probably get lost.
Solution: Take my cell phone and call Aaron for a ride home.

How Did I Do That?!

I think I may have done something that no one in the world has ever done before -- pulled a butt muscle! Another thing to add to my ever-growing list of physical ailments. Looks like I won't be able to do any laundry today:(

Runner's Mouth

When I am on a long run, I lose all sense of appropriate social behavior. I talk about topics considered taboo in real life. I somehow deplete so much fuel that it starts to affect my brain, as well as my body. Running is almost like truth serum --you just say it like it is!

Last Saturday the topic of mammograms surfaced at about Mile #8. I was already feeling drained -- physically and mentally. I started laughing hysterically about the thoughts of my first mammogram and then said something like, "Oh, yeah. I'll go in for my mammogram and the doctor will say, 'Umm, sorry ma'am, we don't have anything set up for the likes of you. There is no way to get those things into our machine! Sorry!"

I mean REALLY! Who says stuff like that? Especially when all the runners aren't female. I just hope no one ever brings up the topic of "hemorroids." Who knows what I'd say about that one!!

Worst Run of My Life

So -- I got on the treadmill today, and nothing happened. The treadmill wasn't broken -- I was!